Ending Relationships

Even the most destructive relationships, that need to be ended, do not end well, it still seems like a funeral, we say goodbye, and think of all the times we shared, even though we have been scared, saying goodbye is still painful. When we have had a long friendship of some sort, everything, every place, every act, every piece in time seems to relate to the person we no longer see in some way. We know that what’s happening is for the best, it’s just that we don’t want to deal with the transitional period. We want to go from having them play a great role in our life, to feeling as though they never existed or we never met. We wish to leave them behind, without leaving a hole where they once were. Yet we can not do this. We can not change the past. But if we could, would we? Would we go back, and live without this terrorizing relationship? How would that change our world? If we never had to deal with the hardship, would we appreciate what we have? Would we feel the same about new, better relationships? Would we even be in them? And would it be worth it, or has this path, through destruction and grief been worth it, have we landed where we want to? If we could take it all back, take back all the bad, but it also take back all the grand, could we?

Feeling Safe

Studies have shown that the people living directly under a volcano are on average less worried about that volcano exploding than the people who live further away but still in the danger zone. What keeps them feeling safe is partly that there is no cause to worry, as if it ever does happen it will already be too late and they will be dead. And partly that, if they were more worried about it they would have moved and would not be in that section of the survey. What keeps most of us feeling safe (the ones that live in the suburbs surrounding the city.) is that we don’t know what is going on around us unless we know people directly involved in it. That is to say, if we listened to police radio, we would hear of some sort of disturbance within 3 blocks of our house within the hour. But we don’t know about it, even though it’s so close to home, unless it is us, or a friend, that is involved. What makes us feel really safe, is that we hear the occasional horror story on the news, some close by, this reassures us that we do hear what is happening and although it’s horrifying, it makes us feel that that is all that is happening. It makes us feel safe, although we may not be. But this is not necessarily a bad thing, because like the people under the volcano, when things erupt, there won’t be time to prepare anyway. There is no need to worry, we are not as safe as we think, but we need not think that we are any less safe than we ever were before, and nothing has happened to us yet.

Understanding

Oh, how we long to be understood. In this complicated and confusing world, this seems to be a plight worthy of Shakespeare, the poetic tragedy of each individual and their unique struggle to find a mind, akin to their own, someone who can hold them when they are upset. Who knows when to ask what’s wrong, and when to act as the shoulder to cry upon. Someone who is nice and not at all creepy, someone who can understand when we are just too sleepy. Someone who know how too kiss, but no one could do all of this. How would we be, if we had to be perfect, we know the pain of not knowing what is wrong, we would if we could fix all that is wrong, but we are only human, if we find what we are looking for, it couldn’t be us, we would run scared, we would not understand, “how could they know all of this?” it would not feel right. How could we ever be understood, when we do not understand, and when we are not willing to explain. How can we be expected to understand what we could not know? We feel when something is not right, but to know what to do with that feeling, even only on the odd occasion, is something utterly amazing.