Learning The Hard Way

Not every traumatic incident will lead to a torrent of horror, as it seems it will at the time, if we handle the trauma well we may even incorporate a lesson or trait into our personality that will aid us in future, be it in another traumatic incident or recovery or general life. For example, as horrible as it may be to loose the life of a loved one, this trauma in itself may prompt us to increase our first aid knowledge which may save a or many lives in the future, or the breakdown of a relationship may lead us to look at what was wrong with the relationship, and fix it, or look for different traits in future potential partners. We may just learn that when everything goes completely off the rails, we can pick ourselves up, and move on and get things going right again, eventually, which may prove a very valuable lesson to have learnt the next time everything feels like it is falling to pieces.

It’s Never Over

Our past affects our present and future long after we have ‘let it go’ or ‘moved on’ or ‘recovered’. We may try to kid ourselves that all those traumatic things exist only in our pasts, that we have either forgiven the wrong doers or that justice has been served, and that that means they are over and done with. But weather we dwell on them or not, we can not deny that they have had their role in shaping us, weather they changed the way we think of ourselves and the world or weather they have mad us more caucus, less trusting, or more able to identify with people in need. The least they could have done is allow us to arrive where we find ourselves today, with the knowledge we possess, the people and personalities we now know, and the physical place at which we reside, where we find ours today is linked in to everything we ever were and everything we have ever been through. Where we find ourselves in the future will be the result of all of that and what happens today, what happens to and around us and how we react to it.

Volunteering

Giving up our time and recourses for others is greatly beneficial for both the people we help, society and ourselves. While many people think that giving our money to a good cause is the most effective help, we can give so much more through helping with causes that may not be as big of an issue and are probably much closer to home. This is not because we do a greater deed in person but because we know how we are helping, and the people who are being helped know that someone cares. Although the benefits of helping in person may not be as measurable as giving to charity, it is more beneficial for our feelings and theirs. When we can see the appreciation of a person we have helped, we feel special, we Know we have made a difference, if not to the world, then to that person, and we know it really means something to them. This is a feeling that all of us should be feeling, it is something not as grandous or lasting as do-good-ers would have us believe, but on some level it is essential to our emotional health. Giving on a scale where we can barely even feel this can still be essential for those receiving, simply having someone offer to make you a cup of tea when you are not expecting it can greatly lift our mood, especially if we are feeling somewhat down at the time. Even the offer of a persons company can be greatly appreciated and make a real change to someone’s day, even someone’s life.

Christmas

What is Christmas really about these years? Is it still a religious celebration, only to be celebrated by religious folk (or people who used to be religious and now only participate in the religious community a few times a year.) Is it a commercial celebration started from a religious tradition and taken on by shops as an aid to sell products that we would never buy for ourselves. Is it a time of the year where we shock the kids and celebrate their innocence by giving them gifts from Santa, without taking credit for their new found toys and joy. Is it a celebration of the giving spirit, of getting a good feeling for ourselves from the appreciation of what we have given to others, be it our presents or our time volunteering (volunteers peek around and on Christmas although they are needed all year round.) Is it a time to celebrate family and community, of catching up with the people who share our blood who we see no other time of year, of having fights and of sharing stories, and of being everything a community is together or noticeably missing with a gap where one should be. Whatever Christmas is for each of us, be it joyous of depressing, it is a day that does not pass unnoticed.